Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
