I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
