She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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