I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
