so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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