Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize