you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
