At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
