Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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