I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
