Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
