Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
