I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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