i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
