it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dick very happy bro
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
