It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
