he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
