dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
