Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize