Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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