that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
