I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
