why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize