none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't make out with my wife yet
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
