She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
