Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
