Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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