i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
