chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
