She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
