we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
