adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I smell like Dick and happiness
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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