Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
