i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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