Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
