i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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