The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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