when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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