**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize