What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
