How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
