If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
