Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
