My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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