That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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