i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize