Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
