Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
