We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
