U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
