I wish I could teleport
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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