i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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