Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize