im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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