i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I will be naked everywhere
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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