Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
