He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
