I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
