Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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