therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
