why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
