Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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