I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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