Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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